1.Big Leg Emma
Ray collins (vocals)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Billy mundi (drums)
Roy estrada (bass)
Don preston (keyboards)
Bunk gardner (woodwinds)
Motorhead sherwood (soprano, baritone saxophone)
There's a big dilemma
About my big leg emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
There's a big dilemma
About my big leg emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
She was my steady date
Until she put on weight
There's a big dilemma
About my big leg emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
There's a big dilemma
About my big leg emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
She used to knock me out
Until her face broke out
Ma-ma-ma-ma
Ma-ma-ma-ma
Ma-ma-ma-ma
Ma-ma-ma-ma
Ma-ma-ma-ma
Ma-ma my emma
Ma-ma-ma-ma
Ma-ma-ma-ma
Ma-ma-ma-ma
Ma-ma-ma-ma
Ma-ma-ma-ma
Ma-ma my emma
There's a big dilemma
About my big leg emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
There's a big dilemma
About my big leg emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
She used to knock me out
Until her face broke out
2.Black Page #2
3.Cruisin' For Burgers
4.Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me？
Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ray white (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Eddie jobson (keyboards, violin, vocals)
Patrick o'hearn (bass, vocals)
Terry bozzio (drums, vocals)
Ruth underwood (percussion, synthesizer)
Don pardo (vocals)
David samuels (vibes)
Randy brecker (trumpet)
Mike brecker (tenor saxophone, flute)
Lou marini (alto saxophone, flute)
Ronnie cuber (baritone saxophone, clarinet)
Tom malone (trombone, trumpet, piccolo)
John bergamo (percussion over-dub)
Ed mann (percussion over-dub)
Louanne neil (osmotic harp over-dub)
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
He was the playboy type (he smoke a pipe)
His fav'rite phrase was 'outa-site!'
He had an irish setter
It was a singles bar, a tuesday night
The moon was dim, the band was tight
They did the bump together
What a splendid sight,(ren-nen-nen-nen) her teeth were white
The drinks were cheap (it was ladies nite)
He was glad that he met her
She was an office girl ('my name is betty')
Her fav'rite group was helen reddy
(they discussed the weather)
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a man
She was the lonely sort, just a little too short
Her jokes were dumb and her fav'rite sport
Was hockey (in the winter)
He was duly impressed and was quick to suggest
Any sport with a puck had to be 'bout the best
As he jabbed his elbow in her ('get it honey？ get it？')
Later on they went off to where the music was soft,
The candles were drippy, they saw a real hippy
Who delivered their dinner
The rice was brown, and soon they found
That the crowd around that had jammed the room,
Well it seemed to be getting thinner
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a man
He took her home to a motor court
She wouldn't kiss him, he tried to ignore it,
But it made him angry!
Angry, it made me angry, it made me so angry i could have killed
that
Lousy bitch!)
He called her a slut, a pig and a whore
A bitch and a cunt and she slammed the door
In a petulant frenzy!
(a petulant frenzy, this is a petulant frenzy.
I'm petulant, and i'm having a frenzy)
On the sofa she weeps
Boo hoo hoo hoo
She weeps and she weeps
Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
She weeps and she peeks
Through the curtain
He just got in his car
But the battery's dead
So he asks to use the phone
And she gives him some head
And that's the end of the story
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a man
Baby don't you want a man sometimes？
5.I'm The Slime
Frank zappa (guitar, vocals)
Ralph humphrey (drums)
Sal marquez (trumpet, vocals)
Tom fowler (bass)
Bruce fowler (trombone)
George duke (keyboards, synthesizer)
Ruth underwood (marimba, vibes, percussion)
Ian underwood (flute, clarinet, alto saxophone, tenor saxophone)
Jean-luc ponty (violin, baritone violin)
Kin vassy (vocals)
I am gross and perverted
I'm obsessed 'n deranged
I have existed for years
But very little had changed
I am the tool of the government
And industry too
For i am destined to rule
And regulate you
I may be vile and pernicious
But you can't look away
I make you think i'm delicious
With the stuff that i say
I am the best you can get
Have you guessed me yet？
I am the slime oozin' out
From your tv set
You will obey me while i lead you
And eat the garbage that i feed you
Until the day that we don't need you
Don't got for help...no one will heed you
Your mind is totally controlled
It has been stuffed into my mold
And you will do as you are told
Until the rights to you are sold
That's right, folks..
Don't touch that dial
Well, i am the slime from your video
Oozin' along on your livin'room floor
I am the slime from your video
Can't stop the slime, people, lookit me go
6.I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth
Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ray white (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Eddie jobson (keyboards, violin, vocals)
Patrick o'hearn (bass, vocals)
Terry bozzio (drums, vocals)
Ruth underwood (percussion, synthesizer)
Don pardo (vocals)
David samuels (vibes)
Randy brecker (trumpet)
Mike brecker (tenor saxophone, flute)
Lou marini (alto saxophone, flute)
Ronnie cuber (baritone saxophone, clarinet)
Tom malone (trombone, trumpet, piccolo)
John bergamo (percussion over-dub)
Ed mann (percussion over-dub)
Louanne neil (osmotic harp over-dub)
There's a big dilemma
'bout my big leg emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
There's a big dilemma
'bout my big leg emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
She used to knock me out
Until her face broke out
There's a big dilemma
'bout my big leg emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
There's a big dilemma
'bout my big leg emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
She was my steady date
Until she put on weight
Na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na
Na-na
Boogedy boogedy
Na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na
Na-na
Boogedy boogedy
There's a big dilemma
'bout my big leg emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
There's a big dilemma
'bout my big leg emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
She used to knock me out
Until her face broke out
She used to knock me out
Until her face broke out
7.Manx Needs Women
8.Pound For A Brown
9.Punky's Whips
Terry bozzio (drums)
Roy estrada (vocals, bass)
Adrian belew (guitar)
Ed mann (percussion)
Patrick o'hearn (bass)
Tommy mars (keyboards)
Peter wolf (keyboards)
Alright!
What's this？
Thank you! what？ ok!
Thank you! wait a minute!
Ah...take these...
Ok!
In today's rapidly changing world
Rock groups appear every fifteen minutes,
Utilising some new promotional device.
Some of these devices have been known
To leave irreparable scars
On the minds of foolish young consumers.
One such case is seated before you：
Little skinny terry 'ted' bozzio,
That cute little drummer!
That's right!
Terry recently fell in love
With a publicity-photo of a boy named punky meadows...
(oh punky!)...
Lead guitar player from a group called angel.
In the photograph,
Punky was seen with a beautiful shiny hairdo
In a semi-profile which emphasized the pootched out succulence
Of his insolent pouting rictus,
The sight of which drove the helpless young drummer mad with
desire!
I can't stand the way he pouts
'cause he might not be pouting for me!
Punky meadows, pouting for you？
Ha! you bet sailor!
You mean,
You mean he's not...he's not pouting...
He's not pouting for me？
His hair's so shiny and it's done real nice
'til i squirm with ecstasy
Punky, punky, give me your lips to die on!
Oh punky, isn't it romantic？
Punky, punky, give me your lips
To die on...i promise not to come in your mouth
Punky, punky, your album's the shits!
It's all wrong!
I ain't really queer
But if he ever got near
Steven tyler would pay to see!
Pay to see!
Punky's lips, punky's lips
His hair's so shiny,
I love his hips!
I love his teeth and his gums and such!
Punky
(what is it？ you come home!)
You're an angel!
You're too much
(oh god!)
The boys of my thoughts in my lonely teenage room!
He's been havin' a rash
(no shit!)
That keeps the girls away
(it's true)
Skin doom
(skin doom)
Is what the doctors say
And that makes me wonder
I wonder what punky is rehearsing today
I'll just go over, and hear him play
His hair is so pretty...i'd like to bite his neck
I've heard a rumor he's more fluid than jeff beck
But i ain't queer
I ain't gay
(he's a little fond of chiffon in a wrist array-ee-ay-ee-ay)
A wrist array-ee-ay
(that's all that is, i swear!)
Punky's lips, punky's lips!
Oh! i love his hair while eatin' dunk-y chips
Yeah! i love his blink and his blank-blank-blank
Why, maybe he'd like to yank my crank？
Yank it punky!
Yank it faster!
Yank it harder!
Yank it all nite long!
Come on punky!
Get funky!
I ain't queer
No no no no!
I ain't gay
No no no no!
(he's a little fond of chiffon in a wrist array-ee-ay-ee-ay)
Wrist array-ee-ay
And then he told me now：
I ain't queer!
(hey!)
I ain't gay!
(hey! hey!)
(he's a little fond of chiffon in a wrist array-ee-ay-ee-ay)
I-i, lord,
I'm fo-o-o-ond of chiffo-on
In a wrist array-ee-ay
Oh oh oh oh!
I-i, i said i'm fo-o-ond of chiffo-on
In a wri-i-i-i-ist array
Come on punky!
Give me your lips!
Ride on my venus-trip!
Patrick o'hearn,
Adrian belew,
Tommy mars,
Terry bozzio,
Peter wolf,
Ed mann.
Thanks for comin' to the show!
10.Sofa
11.The Black Page Drum Solo／black Page #1
Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ray white (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Eddie jobson (keyboards, violin, vocals)
Patrick o'hearn (bass, vocals)
Terry bozzio (drums, vocals)
Ruth underwood (percussion, synthesizer)
Don pardo (vocals)
David samuels (vibes)
Randy brecker (trumpet)
Mike brecker (tenor saxophone, flute)
Lou marini (alto saxophone, flute)
Ronnie cuber (baritone saxophone, clarinet)
Tom malone (trombone, trumpet, piccolo)
John bergamo (percussion over-dub)
Ed mann (percussion over-dub)
Louanne neil (osmotic harp over-dub)
All right now, watch this. let me tell you about this song. this
song was originally constructed as a drum solo. that's right.
now, after terry learned how to play the black page on the drum
set
Igured, well, maybe it would be good for other instruments. so i
wrote a melody that went along with the drum solo. and that
turned into the black page part 1, the hard version. then i
said, wel
At about the other people in the world, who might enjoy the
melody of the black page, but couldn't really approach its
statistical density in its basic form. so, i went to work and
constructed a
Le diddy which is now being set up for you at this little disco
type vamp. this is the black page part 2, the easy teenage new
york version. get down with your bad selves so to speak to the
blac
E part 2.
Thank you.
Did anybody dance？
12.The Illinois Enema Bandit
Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ray white (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Eddie jobson (keyboards, violin, vocals)
Patrick o'hearn (bass, vocals)
Terry bozzio (drums, vocals)
Ruth underwood (percussion, synthesizer)
Don pardo (vocals)
David samuels (vibes)
Randy brecker (trumpet)
Mike brecker (tenor saxophone, flute)
Lou marini (alto saxophone, flute)
Ronnie cuber (baritone saxophone, clarinet)
Tom malone (trombone, trumpet, piccolo)
John bergamo (percussion over-dub)
Ed mann (percussion over-dub)
Louanne neil (osmotic harp over-dub)
And now folks it's time for don pardo to deliver our special
illinois enema bandit-type announcement take it away, don
'this is a true story
About a famous criminal
From right around chicago
This is the story of michael kenyon
A man who's serving time at this very moment
For the crime of armed robbery
It so happened, that at the time of the robbery
Michael, decided to give his female victims
A little enema
Apparently, there was no law against that
But his name lives on
Michael kenyon
The illinois enema bandit!'
The illinois enema bandit
I heard he's on the loose
I heard he's on the loose
Lord, the pitiful screams
Of all them college-educated women...
Boy, he'd just be tyin' 'em up
(they'd be all bound down!)
Just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The illinois enema bandit juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag
Fulla the illinois enema bandit juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag
Fulla the illinois enema bandit juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag
Fulla the illinois enema bandit juice
The illinois enema bandit
I heard it on the news
I heard it on the news
Bloomington illinois...he has caused some alarm
Just sneakin' around there
From farm to farm
Got a rubberized bag
And a hose on his arm
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump
The illinois enema bandit
One day he'll have to pay
One day he'll have to pay
The police will say, 'you're under arrest!'
And the judge would have him for a special guest
The d.a. will order a secret test
And stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vest
Then they'll put out a call for the jury folks
And the judge would say, 'no poo-poo jokes!'
Then they'll drag in the bandit for all to see,
Sayin' 'don't nobody have no sympathy...
Hot soap water in the first degree!'
And then the bandit might say, 'why is everybody looking' at
me？'
Well did you cause this misery？
Well did you cause this kinda misery？
Well did you cause this misery？
Now, one girl shout： 'let the bandit be!'
Bandit are you guilty？
Bandit are you guilty？ tell me now, what's
Your plea？
Another girl shout： 'let the fiend go free!'
Are you guilty？ bandit, did you do these deeds？
The bandit say, 'it must be just what they all needs...'
'it must be just what they all needs...'
'it must be just what they all needs...'
'it must be just what they all needs...'
'it must be just what they all needs...'
'it must be just what they all needs...'
Etc. repeat
Wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna enema
Enema
Repeat...
13.The Purple Lagoon／approximate
14.The Torture Never Stops
Terry bozzio (drums, background vocals)
Davey moire (vocals)
Andre lewis (organ, vocals)
Roy estrada (bass, vocals)
Dave parlato (bass)
Napoleon murphy brock (saxophone, vocals)
Ruth underwood (synthesizer, marimba)
Donnie vliet (harmonica)
Louanne neil (harp)
Ruben ladron de guevara (background vocals)
Sharkie barker (background vocals)
Flies all green and buzzin',
In this dungeon of despair.
Prisoners grumble and piss their clothes,
And scratch their matted hair.
A tiny light, from a window hole,
A hundred yards away,
Is all they ever gets to know
About the regular light in the day.
And it stinks so bad, the stones been chokin',
And weepin' greenish drops.
In the room where the giant fire puffer works,
And the torture never stops.
The torture never stops.
Slime and rot, rats and snot,
And vomit on the floor.
Fifty yoogly soldiers, man,
Holdin' spears by the iron door.
Knives and spikes, and guns and the likes
Of every tool of pain.
And a sinister midget, with a bucket and a mop,
Where the blood goes down the drain.
And it stinks so bad, the stones been chokin',
And weepin' greenish drops.
In the room where the giant fire puffer works,
And the torture never stops.
The torture never stops.
The torture.. the torture..
The torture never stops.
Flies all green and buzzin',
In this dungeon of despair.
An evil prince eats a steaming pig,
In a chamber right near there.
He eats the snouts and the trotters first.
The loins and the groins is soon dispersed.
His carvin' style is well rehearsed.
He stands and shouts：
All men be cursed!
All men be cursed!
All men be cursed!
All men be cursed!
And disagree？
Well, no one durst.
He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first.
And it stinks so bad, his bones been chokin',
And weepin' greenish drops.
In the night of the iron sausage,
Where the torture never stops.
The torture never stops.
The torture.. the torture..
The torture never stops.
Flies all green and buzzin',
In this dungeon of despair.
Who are all those people,
That he's locked away down there？
Are they crazy？
Are they sainted？
Are they zeroes,
Someone painted？
And it's never been explained,
Since it first it was created.
But a dungeon, like a sin,
Requires naught but lockin' in,
Of everything that's ever been.
Look at her.
Look at him.
That's what's the deal we're dealin' in.
That's what's the deal we're dealin' in.
That's what's the deal we're dealin' in.
That's what's the deal we're dealin' in.
15.Titties ＆ Beer
Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ray white (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Eddie jobson (keyboards, violin, vocals)
Patrick o'hearn (bass, vocals)
Terry bozzio (drums, vocals)
Ruth underwood (percussion, synthesizer)
Don pardo (vocals)
David samuels (vibes)
Randy brecker (trumpet)
Mike brecker (tenor saxophone, flute)
Lou marini (alto saxophone, flute)
Ronnie cuber (baritone saxophone, clarinet)
Tom malone (trombone, trumpet, piccolo)
John bergamo (percussion over-dub)
Ed mann (percussion over-dub)
Louanne neil (osmotic harp over-dub)
It was the blackest night
There was no moon in sight
You know the stars ain't shinin'
'cause the sky's too tight
I heard the scarey wind
I seen some ugly trees
There was a werewolf honkin'
'long the side of me
I'm mean 'n i'm bad, y'know i ain't no sissy
Got a big-titty girly by the name of chrissy
Talkin' about her 'n my bike 'n me...
'n this ride up the mountain of mystery, mystery
I noticed even the crickets
Was actin' weird up here
And so i figured i might
Just drink a little beer
I said, 'gimme summa that what yer suckin' on...'
But there was no reply
'cause she was gone...
'where's those titties that i like so well
'n my goddamn beer!'
Is what i started to yell, then i heard this noise
Like a crunchin' twig, 'n up jumped the devil...he's about this
big...
He had a red suit on
An' a widow's peak
An' then a pointed tail
'n like a sulphur reek
Yes, it was him awright
I sweared i knowed it was
He had some human flesh
Stuck underneath his claws
You know it looked to me
Like it was titty skin
I said, 'you sonofabitch!'
'cause i was mad at him,
Well he just got out his floss
'n started cleanin' his fang
So i shot him with my shooter
Said： bang bang bang
Then the sucker just laughed 'n said, 'put it away...
You know, i ate her all up...now what you
Gonna say？'
You ate my chrissy？ 'titties 'n all!'
Well, what about the beer then, boy？ 'were the cans
This tall？'
Even her boots？ 'would i lie to you？'
Shit, you musta been hungry! 'yes, this is true.'
Well don't they pay you good for the
Stuff that you do？
'well, you know, i can't complain when the checks come
through...'
Well i want my chrissy, 'n i want my beer
So you just barf it back up now, devil,
Do you hear？
'blow it out your ass, motorcycle man! i mean, i am the devil,
Do you understand？ just what will you give me
For your
Titties and beer？ i suppose you noticed this little
Contract here...' yer goddam right, you son-of-a-whore,
'don't call me that'
That's about the only reason
...gimme that paper...bet yer ass i'll sign...
'cause i need a beer, 'n it's titty-squeezin' time
'man, you can't fool me...you ain't that bad...
I mean you shoulda seen some of the souls i had...
Why there was milhous nixon 'n agnew, too...
'n both of those suckers was worse 'n you...'
Well, let's make a deal if you think that's true
I mean, you're the devil, so whatcha gonna do？
(improvised dialog)
'wait a minute...a tinge of doubt crosses my mind...when you
say...
That you want to make a deal with me...'
'that's very, very true
I'm only interested in two things
'yeah？'
See if you can guess what they are'
'i would think...uh...let's see, maybe stravinsky...'
'i'll give you two clues. let go of your pickle'
'what？'
'let go of your pickle!'
'i'm not holding my pickle'
'well, who's holding your pickle then？'
'i don't know...she's out in the audience...
Hey dale, would you like to come up here and hold
My pickle to satisfy this weird man out on the stage？'
'i'm only interested in two things, and that's
Titties and beer
You know what i mean？
'what？'
Titties and beer
Titties and beer
Titties and beer
Titties and beer
Titties and beer
Titties and beer
Titties and beer!'
Titties and beer!'
'i don't know if you're the right guy？'
Titties and beer!'
Titties and beer!'
'no! don't sign it! give me time to think...
I mean hold on a second boy, 'cause that's magic ink!'
And then the devil let go of his pickle
And out come my girl, there was her titties
Flop-floppin'...all around the world
She said 'i got me three beers and a fistful of downs
And i'm gonna get ripped, so fuck, you clowns!'
Then she gave us the finger, it was rigid and stiff
That's when the devil, he farted
And she went right over the cliff!
The devil was mad, i took off to my pad
I swear i do declare, how did she get back there？
I swear i do declare, how did she get back there？
I swear i do declare, how did she get back there？
I swear i do declare, how did she get back there？
I swear i do declare, how did she get back there？
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